Quite recently a list of “30 things every woman should have and should know by the time she’s 30”, that was apparently published a few years ago by Glamour magazine, did a bit of a rerun on various blogs and Facebook feeds. I was torn between whether this was a good thing (a blog prompt! I love those!) or bad (stealing my thunder), but in the end it didn’t really matter because I’m now far further through the last month of my 20s than I planned to be when I wrote this catch-up post. Besides, the woman Glamour magazine describes is an alien creature, whose concerns are far less interesting than my own. That’s why, instead of linking to the list, I’d rather link to The Vagenda’s evisceration of it.
But hey, let us for lols imagine this is still some time last week and see where I stand in relation to both my own list and this one with some thirty days to go.
1. Move into somewhere that’s properly my own, like with furniture and stuff. Alternatively, get existing flat looking and feeling the way I want it. It’s only been five years.
NOT (REALLY) STARTED. It’s probably fair to say we’re not likely to move anywhere in the foreseeable future – in fact, probably the biggest driver for wanting to move is the state of this place. Because that’s how you fix piles of clutter, dishes needing done and the posters in tubes that have been waiting to be framed for nigh on six years! Feature walls and decorative vintage typewriters will surely follow!
GLAMOUR EQUIVALENT: A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family. Am I to assume that Ikea bookshelves and a no-brand 32″ television don’t count?
2. Get my iTunes library sorted out, with proper tags and album artwork.
IN PROGRESS. But, in actuality, far less advanced than it was when this project started as my hard drive died; losing me however many years worth of playlists, artwork and ratings that have to be rebuilt as well as all the new stuff. Honestly, it’s not high on my list of priorities.
3. Get the wedding photos, scrapbook and thank-you cards organised, done and sent out.
IN PROGRESS. But, not actually any more progress than I had made eleven months ago. I suspect, two years after the event, remembering people’s birthdays and things like that is more important than thanking them for coming to a party they know I was grateful they were at? Yes, I feel terrible. Maybe if I took a month off work…
4. Make a habit of living off my paycheque rather than credit cards/borrowing (at least three times in a five month period).
FAILED. Utterly, utterly failed. Not one month, never mind three. Perhaps if I wasn’t paying back credit cards… but this is perhaps the only target I’ve set myself that I’m genuinely disappointed in missing, so.
GLAMOUR EQUIVALENT: The realization that you are actually going to have an old age—and some money set aside to help fund it. Does this mean a pension? Because I totally planned to get one of these before I turned 30, but then I realised I only had a few months to wait until auto-enrolment so I’ll just let the Government take care of it for me.
5. Come off anti-depressants.
ABANDONED. I realise now that had I phrased this as “come off Prozac” – the sort of dramatic language I tend to favour – I could have scored this one off on a technicality as I am in the process of withdrawing from that particular medication just now, but it wouldn’t have been in the spirit of the project as I will be replacing it with something else just to see how that goes. What I have found, however, is that recent months (and the beginning of some new treatment) have brought home to me that the necessary taking of medication for a diagnosed mental health condition is not something to be ashamed of or given some arbitrary end date. I may never come off anti-depressants, but if I do it will be because I am healthy enough to do so.
GLAMOUR EQUIVALENT: The belief that you deserve it.
6. Pass my driving test.
IN PROGRESS. I failed again yesterday, for the eighth time (what? you wouldn’t have seen that car either in rain that heavy!) but watch this space. I still have a little time.
7. Attain “inbox zero”.
IN PROGRESS. Guys, this one is “in progress” nearly every single fucking day but I’m currently at 75 unread so I don’t even know. Sleep, and not stressing about it, is way more important.
8. Get a cat.
I don’t want to say “ABANDONED”. I don’t. But the fact remains if we had a cat in this house (see #1) it would probably choke on an abandoned pizza box and I would be devastated.
9. Shout from a rooftop, at least 20 storeys high.
I guess I need to find me a rooftop in the next three weeks, huh?
10. See a sunset.
11. Write a book. I can, of course, get away with not finishing it but only if I at least make a concerted effort.
ABANDONED. God, my teenage diaries are so over-dramatic. Should I put together an ebook of my fabulous blog posts? Would anybody buy it?
12. Learn and perform at least one song of my choosing at an open mic.
I suppose it’s not too late… to learn how to play the guitar again?!
13. Make a zine.
Should I put together a zine of my fabulous blog posts? Would anybody buy it?
14. Put on a gig.
COMPLETED. In fact, completed times three by the time this is done!
15. Make a cheesecake.
16. Make my own gin.
I should pick one of these to do tomorrow, yes?
17. Record a podcast.
I got sick! And there were so many things to do… always so many things to do…
18. Write a song.
Like this. I’ve still got four weeks left… right?
19. Get something published somewhere that even my dad will be impressed by.
COMPLETED. Well, I’m not entirely sure what I meant by this, but he told me that he had some friends over and started typing “lisa-marie” into Google and it auto-completed my name, so.
20. Play with a band.
COMPLETED. My turn on drunken backing vocals with one Mr Hughes counts, right?
21. See the Weakerthans live.
ABANDONED. Actually, this is my worst failure. I wonder if those tickets ever turned up..?
22. Listen to every Bob Dylan album.
ABANDONED. See, this is the thing – after my hard drive crash, once I started listening to everything on shuffle again I realised there was a reason that I hadn’t listened to the Bob Dylan stuff I haven’t listened to and that is because, for the most part, it is garbage. Life is too short.
23. Read Infinite Jest.
24. Take at least one trip to a city I’ve never visited.
Off to Liverpool next weekend with Jo, if you have any tips?
25. Learn something new or develop an existing skill with a course of study.
26. Have a professional waxing treatment.
27. Have a dress designed for me, perhaps for some big ol’ 30th birthday party.
…it’s just that I’ve found at least two pretty ones I wouldn’t need to have designed for me, and I have no idea how one would go about such a thing…
GLAMOUR EQUIVALENT: Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour. Sorry, that should read boring equivalent.
28. Go full redhead (if get mistaken for Karen Gillan so much the better).
I’m pretty sure that “maybe kids will call me Amy Pond on the bus” is not a good reason to undergo an extremely expensive bleach ‘n’ dye job. I think I’ll cut off all my hair again instead.
29. Take up some kind of regular fitness/sporty pursuit.
ON HOLD. I plan to do just that once the night I’m spending on driving lessons is freed up.
GLAMOUR EQUIVALENT: A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30.
30. Volunteer for something.
COMPLETED. And will blog soon.