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i don’t want to be the one who rides flame: 30 before 30 month 5 update;

lism. / , , , , / 1 Comment

Regular readers will be aware that I’m working on something of a bucket list as I bid farewell to my 20s. On the 9th of each month – or thereabouts – I check in on my progress.

The other day, I read something interesting: it turns out that the Olympic Torch will be passing through Glasgow on 9th June 2012.

That’s my 30th birthday, and coincidentally the end of this project.

I confess that, since I read about it I have been fixated on the idea, because what better way to celebrate however much of this project I ultimately end up completing than by running around with a big fuck-off flame?

So I asked my boss if he had any idea who a girl might have to ask to get a go of the Olympic flame.

“Uh, I hate to break it to you but I think they only select people who are inspirational figures, probably from the sporting world,” he said.

Either that, or open a Lloyd’s bank account, if the adverts are to be believed.

This struck me as deeply unfair. Surely somebody has to run on behalf of the slobs and the cake-eaters and those who are disinterested in sport. The “silent majority” if you like, who will be manning our nation’s desks while the rest of you sit glued to a television pretending that the caveman-esque skills of spear-throwing and running very, very fast suddenly have direct relevance to 21st century society when they’re sponsored by Coca-Cola. So this morning I thought I’d have a look at the London 2012 website, just in case.

Guys, the nomination process is closed.

How is this fair? There’s no chance I would have applied back in September, before the route and the dates were even announced – how was I to know it would make something funny to blog about?

I’m like, what do I do now? Should I start a social media campaign or something? That’s the weapon of choice isn’t it, whether you’re bringing democracy to Libya or Wispa Golds back into shops?

Any ideas, I’m all about them.

(Oh, everything else is still works in progress this month – gig tickets are selling fast, so you should totally get one if you don’t want to chance your arm on the door, and I’ve restarted driving lessons. I’m two lessons in with my fabulous instructor I found on Twitter who is as determined as I am not to let my driving curse beat me this time. And I’m alright, but didn’t realise that when I drive the top half of my body is so fucking tense that I cannot move the next day. BIG SIGH.)

ATTAINMENT TO DATE: 2/30
WORK IN PROGRESS: 9/30
CURRENT MONTHLY TARGET: 4 tasks per month