i’ll play replacements songs and sigh;

I had no intention of blogging again this week, but since I can’t access anything I need in order to do the work that I’m paid for (with impeccable timing considering I’m off until Monday now, argh) there appears to be nothing else for it.

It’s lunchtime anyway, and I’m leafing through legal magazines and old copies of the Metro piled up by the side of my desk – the detritus of my life. I should tidy this up actually, because the new girl will probably be sitting here while I’m away.

There was an interview with Jordan, the glamour model, the other day that made me laugh actually – something about how she’s interested in writing children’s books now that her mostly ghostwritten first novel has come out “because they’re only 700 words so they’re easier.”

Monday’s pseudo-science column was on the existence of the so-called “gay gene”, following the publication of research carried out by the Brock University in Ontario. The Metro publishes such features – padded out with advertising, large images and quotes from “experts” to make them look a bit more well-thought-out than 100 words of reportage – on a regular basis. The thing is, such tabloid fodder studies have no more scientific basis than the provitamins found in shampoo, and that the press lends credence to them – parrotting them back in lazy-journalist press-release style – makes my blood run cold.

That’s a general belief of mine. Now, let’s get onto the specific subject matter; seemingly carefully calculated to Wind Me Up. A “gay gene” implies a genetic abnormality, and from there it’s not much of a step before they’re coming out with a “cure” because of course my best friends’ relationship cannot be in any valid or based on anything concrete because they’re two women with something wrong with them.

And what does the existence of a “gay gene” mean for bisexuals? It’s simple if you believe Dr Qazi Rahman:

It’s quite controversial as to whether bisexuality exists. Some studies say it doesn’t and I don’t think it does either. Sexual orientation is an ‘either, or’ phenomena for both genders, more so with men.

Actually, you know what? I’m not going to waste my breath even attacking that ludicrous statement. I’m pretty sure that I do exist, and I’m perfectly comfortable in my sexuality, thank you.

(Plus I know that the word “phenomena” is a plural, asshat.)

Still, it’s unreasonable of me to expect quality journalism from the same publishing stable that brought us the Daily Mail, and which wastes a page that could be spend on some interesting investigative reports to read on the train in the morning on pairing up tramps from the City for the entertainment of their captive readership once a week. Even today’s article comparing each of the Top Gear presenters to a different car hasn’t soothed my righteous anger any.

On to happier things. Like the fact that the new football season’s starting on Saturday. Or how about my old fallback, music? AOL give us another list to argue about in their 111 wussiest songs of all time – some of which are fairly obvious (#55, #39, #12, #4 – and no, I wouldn’t argue with their top spot either), and some of which are a bit, well, odd. I’d echo Stereogum’s comment about that inclusion at #93 for starters. I’m also a bit surprised not to see an inclusion by my Least Favourite Glasgow Band Ever, especially in line with this link from Rachelle Renee earlier in the week.

I have to confess that before last week I hadn’t heard of Lucero, but they have a new album coming out with lots of accompanying coolness, and my favourite boy is quite excited about it, bless him (well it is his birthday):

They’ve done what bands like The Ramones did to their rock ‘n’ roll predecessors, what Uncle Tupelo did to the country music they grew up on. They’ve learned the language, then added it to their vocabulary, made it their own.

Tonight I’m heading East to a city I used to call home, to finally meet the aceness that is Our Nicky (and to buy her at least a coffee considering how much she helped out on the last mag as well as designing me a new layout from scratch). And tomorrow? Well, it’s just a whole lot of yay from then on, really.